Dear Dawn: “I’m 15, and recently had my heart broken by a guy I was in love with…”

From a 15-year-old reader, V.C.: Help with heartbreak

From a 15-year-old reader, V.C.: Help with heartbreak

Dear Dawn, I came across your “Dear 15 Me” and all I can say is thank you. I’m currently a 15 year old sophomore in high school and I’ve read some of the different advice from people and they’re truly amazing. I’ve recently just had my heart broken from a guy I was in love with ( or thought I was in love with) it’s been pretty tough, considering that we go to the same school and I see him around. After seeing all these posts, they’ve really hit me in a positive way. I’m just wondering if there is any advice you can kindly give to me, I would appreciate it . Thank you (: – V.C.
Dear, V.C.!

Thank you SO much for writing me!
I started Dear 15 Me to reach out to girls just like you, hoping that it would help make a difference.
Listen. I remember how hard this time is.
It is TOUGH. But, honey, it gets sooooo much better.
You have everything in front of you, and you have no idea all of the beautiful surprises that will come your way. And, believe me, there will be many.
Things you can’t even imagine happening right now, will be the very things that change your life for the better.
I personally believe that people are put in our lives at a certain time to teach us lessons at that time and to go along on this journey of life with us.
And, I also believe that those very same people step out of our lives when they are supposed to, to make room for better things…even if we can’t see them right then.
One poem, my mom inscribed in a book she gave me as a Christmas present when I was high school, has always stuck with me, and I hope you get as much from it to help you heal your heart, as I have over the years.
In fact, I have found that one line or another always sticks out to me, and helps me get through a painful time of transition.
Thank you so much for reaching out.
You made my holiday season, and truly touched my heart.
Remember this at all times, V.C.: 
YOU WILL BE OKAY.
 
xoxo,
Dawn
****
“After A While” by Veronica A. Shoffstall

After A While 

(Veronica A. Shoffstall, copyright 1971)

After a while, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. and you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t always mean security.

And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.

 

After a while, you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure,
you really are strong,
you really do have worth,
and you learn,
and you learn – 
with every goodbye, you learn…

 

*NOTE: I am NOT a doctor. I am simply a person, who is navigating this world and life, right alongside everybody else. If you have a question for Dear Dawn, please email me at DearDawn@BeautyFrosting.com. xoxo

*Lipstick pictured above: Tarte Cosmetics Tarteist Lip Paint in Hangry & Tarteist lip crayon in Squad

Dear 15 Me: Heidi Klum

Dear 15 Me: Heidi Klum

Dear 15 Me: Heidi Klum

I caught up with the gorgeous (inside & out) Heidi Klum at the UNICEF ball last week at the Beverly Wilshire, here in LA.

Here’s what she had to say to her @dear15me self:

“I would do the same thing. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but you learn through your mistakes – you know your heartaches, or the silly, stupid things you’ve done in the past. Life is a roller coaster, so you need to have the good, bad and the ugly. You need all of that stuff to grow as a person.”

Thanks for sharing your hindsight wisdom and truth, Heidi! Such a pleasure chatting jewelry and advice with you! #Dear15me

p.s. Thanks, @milanwrld for introducing us!! 💗

*Photo by Lookbook LA

Dear Dawn: An advice column where head meets heart

Dear Dawn in back, and more heartfelt than ever. I'm here to help.

Dear Dawn in back, and more heartfelt than ever. I’m here to help.

Today on the blog is the reintroduction of something I’m really proud of, but it’s also a very personal post – both for me and a reader of mine.

When I first started my blog, BeautyFrosting in 2012, I had a whole page devoted to my Dear Dawn column. Readers would primarily write in with questions about beauty or baking or blogging, etc. But, interestingly, as my focus turned towards people and the goal of inspiring them, my “Dear Dawn” column seemed to dwindle.

Then, my Dear 15 Me episode of The Real aired in November, and the questions started pouring in, again. Only this time, they seem to be questions from the heart – just the way I like them. And, there are a BUNCH of ’em. They came from people wanting answers, people needing inspiration, and people just needing to talk.

Well, I’ve been given this forum for a reason, and if you send me a question, I promise I will give you an answer. Only, it might not be an answer per se, but more of my thoughts, personal experiences and messages from the heart. So far, while there are the occasional questions about home decor, my career path & makeup, more seem to be like this one from Beatrice. If it helps Beatrice, any of you – or one person at all, out there – I will have done my part.

xoxo,
Dawn

*Readers: If you have a “Dear Dawn” question, please send it to DearDawn@BeautyFrosting.com. While I can’t promise I’ll give you the answer you want, I CAN promise that I will answer you.

*NOTE: I am NOT a doctor. I am simply a person, who is navigating this world and life, right alongside everybody else. 

 

What you are close to…is reflected by you…is who you are

Honoree Oprah Winfrey at the Variety Power of Women luncheon at the Beverly Wilshire, Friday, October 9th, 2015

Honoree Oprah Winfrey at the Variety Power of Women luncheon at the Beverly Wilshire, Friday, October 9th, 2015

This picture may be fuzzy, but my memory of it will not be. I had someone I worked with recently tell me that they didn’t follow me on social media, because seeing what I was doing made them feel like they should be doing that, and made them feel inadequate.

As much as this hurt my heart to hear, I felt that it was an excellent learning experience for both of us. I told them that rather than viewing it as something they’re not getting to do now, to view it as something they can – and will – do in the near future, if they so want it, and work hard for it.

I have always believed that when those feelings of jealousy and inadequacy come up for us (and they do come up for us all), that instead of viewing them as challenges or roadblocks, we should see them as reflections – reflections of who we are, what we can do, and who we can become.
What you are close to…is reflected by you…is who you are.

As I sat there in awe yesterday at the @Unite4Good table at the Variety‪#‎PowerOfWomen‬ luncheon, looking at & listening to one of the people that I most want to be like – Oprah Winfrey – I realized that the closer I get, the shinier that reflection is, and the bigger and more realistic my dreams become.

As I told Dress for Success Worldwide – West a few months ago, “Rather than seeing things as a ‘have vs. have not,’ situation, I view everyone else’s success as a direct reflection of my own success. Their dreams coming true are a reflection of my dreams coming true. And, the hard work they’ve put in as the reflection of the work I have yet to do.”

Never has this been more clear than hearing this truly powerful woman share her story. Thanks, Oprah, for inspiring us all, and letting us reflect your light.

Life is like an escalator…

Oh, just me on the escalator of life...

Oh, just me on the escalator of life…

Life really is like an escalator. You ride it up and down and back up again, stepping out onto different floors, to take in all the options, only to sometimes find yourself back on the same floor you started on, looking at a whole different season of options, through a different pair of rose-colored sunglasses.
That’s how I feel about Nordstrom.

My first job in LA was at Nordstrom. I worked as a Trish McEvoy makeup artist at Westside Pavillion and Topanga Canyon. What I remember most is how I so terribly yearned for the day when I would “make it”… meaning that I would be working as a full-time creative, with no one to answer to.

Funny thing, life. Tonight, as I toasted the grand opening celebration of the grand new Nordstrom Del Amo – as a guest this timeout Nordstrom & the charity, Walk With Sally – I could feel that girlish spirit alive and radiating through me. I recalled such fond memories of kind customers, comedic quips of my counter co-horts, jotting down my dreams in my journal at lunch, calling casting directors on breaks, and just biding my time, yearning for the day when those days would be but a memory.

Well, now they are. And, I miss that girl. A lot. But the one thing I’ve learned in this cyclical little life of mine is to not be so busy looking for what’s up ahead, that you miss what’s right there in front of you. Look at each step on the escalator you’re on, even as you’re climbing on to the next one.

And, here’s a little hint: You ALWAYS have someone to answer to, not least of all…yourself. And, I’ve found that that chick is the toughest boss of all.

Thank you for a beautiful night, Nordstrom and Walk With Sally. My heart is grateful for our memories then, our present now, and out future ahead.

xoxo,
Dawn

Perfectly Imperfect: A Hanger String Aint No Thing

Something I learned from this pic I just saw up on @GuestOfAGuest of me at a @PeroniUSA event?
Mayyyybe someone should have told me that my hanger string was all hanging out.

A hanger string aint no thing. You gotta be able to control what you can, and leave - and laugh at -the rest.

A hanger string aint no thing. You gotta be able to control what you can, and leave – and laugh at -the rest.

Ok. Let’s get real here for a sec, folks.
There are plenty of perfect pics of people in perfectly cute outfits all over social media and the internet.
But here’s some realness.
It’s life. It’s imperfect. It’s real. And, let’s be honest…it’s hilarious!
I find that being able to laugh at myself – pretty much daily – is one of the best gifts I was ever given. And I do it OFTEN!
Life is so beautiful in all of its imperfections. Control what you can.
Cherish what matters.
And, let go – and laugh about – the rest.

 

xoxo,

Dawn

High-Low: It Takes A Village & Too Much Everything

HIGH: It Takes A Village

High-Low: It Takes A Village

Well, you may have noticed that I took a little break from BF the past few weeks. Believe me, it was not voluntary. I was in the throes of celebrating our BeautyFrosting 2nd bloggiversary and threw quite a fête here at The Cupcake Palace to celebrate (more on that later).

With the help of my mom, friends, assistants and generous sponsors, I “single-handedly” threw the party that I had dreamed of to celebrate 2 years of BeautyFrosting. See, that’s the joke! Everyone said, “Wow! How did you manage to pull off a party at your home for 70 people when it’s just you working full-time at it?” Well, here’s the thing. I may be a one-man shop but I’ve got a whole host of people who help it run smoothly and make it so much more fun. From friends to part-time assistants to my champions cheering me on, I never feel like I’m alone in making my dreams come true.

I am so lucky to be surrounded by people who believe in the beauty of my dreams and who encourage me to keep doing my best and giving my all every single day. I am beyond thankful for them.

So, my high this week is all of you folks who have supported me the past 2 years, who helped make this dream of a “BF Turns 2″ bloggiversary party a reality and to the people who inspire me every day. There are SO many of you but let’s just start with the party people who made my party a seamless and beautiful affair: Mom, Vanessa York, Chris Richards, Lindsey Vaerst, Joey LiMandri, Lindy Ryan, Heather Adair, Rosy Usagi and Malina Li. Between stuffing giftbags, hanging decorations, shopping at HomeGoods, bringing ice, waiting for people to arrive, offering to help in any way and offering moral support, y’all make it all so much sweeter!

 LOW: Too Much Everything

LOW: You can do anything but you can't do EVERYTHINGI’ll be honest with ya, here. People often ask me how I do it all – “How do you come up with ideas to write about? How do you go to so many events? How do you stay so positive? How do you make time for spin class? How do you make time for makeup? How do you find time to bake with all of that going on?” And when they ask me this, I always feel really flattered. I’m so happy that I make a busy life seem so easy and fun. But let me tell you, y’all, it’s not all rainbows and cupcakes and puppy dogs all the time. The past month has taught me a lot. The main thing is this little life lesson above – “You can do anything but you can’t do everything. Yep. I hear ya. LOUD AND CLEAR.

For a person who really thrives when they’re multi-tasking as much as I do, it’s really hard to know your limits. And it’s even harder for me to say no to a friend or business associate. But, by golly, I am learning  – albeit, verrrry slowly – that I cannot do everything, no matter how hard I try. I can’t do it all. I can’t please ’em all and  I can’t be it all to everyone. But I sure can try to do my healthy best.

So today I am trying to focus on the things that I can do, the ways I can improve the lives of those around me and am trying to let go of the superfluous so I can have a little bit more me-time every now and then. Because when your business is, well, you, the lines can between work and play can get pretty blurry.

xoxo,
BF

BF Asks: What was your High-Low this week?

*So what exactly is a High-Low, you ask? High-Low is the BEST & WORST part of your day, week, month, etc. I started this tradition with friends & family after I discovered it through a movie decades ago. Not only is it useful for reflection sake but it is also an excellent way to communicate with your spouse, kids or friends over the dinner table. By introducing this tradition to folks, parents have told me that their kids have opened up more and friends have told me that their spouses have become more communicative. Try it for yourself and let me know what your experience is! 

High-Low 1/27/14: Sweeter Than A Cupcake & Sitting With Sadness (thanks, Louis C.K.!)

Here’s my High-Low this week. It was a week filled with sweetness, gratitude, love and light and a little bit of sadness. I just consider myself lucky that I get to feel the entire range of emotions. I’m realizing that there are many people who either physically can’t feel these emotions or have blocked themselves to where they’re devoid of feeling emotions on such a scale. So while that means that I’ll have my share of ups and downs over the years, it also means that I’ll be able to continue to share my High-Lows with you all. Lucky ducks…

HIGH: SWEETER THAN A CUPCAKE

HIGH: SWEETER THAN A CUPCAKE - "I Dream To…" Mentor Day with Step Up Women's Network at the Dermalogica headquarters

This past Saturday morning, I showed up at the Dermalogica headquarters in Carson, California to participate in Step Up Women’s Network “I Dream To…” Mentor Day. I am a visionary member of Step Up Women’s Network and am a big fan because their sole mission is to help inspire girls from under-resourced communities to live up to their full potential. They have done this so effectively that 100% of Step Up graduates over the past 4 years have been accepted to and currently attend college.

I had no idea what to expect and to be honest, I was a little nervous. But after meeting my mentee, “S.”, all of my nervousness went away. We were very different and yet we had qualities at our cores in common which bonded us.

My goal going into the day was to encourage, inspire and motivate her. So imagine my surprise, after spending the day together when I was the one tearing up as I read her letter of gratitude to me and realizing how much she had taught me.

I learned more from this 15-year-old in one day than I have learned from most people in the past month. And by sharing with her some of my successes, struggles and strategies, I actually learned lessons that I didn’t even know I needed to learn.

I am so thankful to have met S. and to have been able to share this day together. My hope is that she took as much away from the day with me as I took from my time spent with her.

 

LOW: SITTING WITH SADNESS

BeautyFrosting quotes, BeautyFrosting

LOW: SITTING WITH SADNESS (Thanks, Louis C.K.!!)

This past week – like so many other weeks we have in life – I had a bump in the road. I felt sad, disappointed, confused and totally out of my comfort zone. As the extrovert that I am, my initial instinct was to pick up the phone and call a close friend. Usually, that’s what I do. I call my Mom or call or hang out with one of my best friends and share my woes with anyone that I trust. I tell them what’s going on so they can help me work through it and by the end of the call or visit, I get over it and feel better…somewhat.

But this time was different. As I was picking up the phone, I remembered that chat that Louis C.K. had on Conan about cell phones, sadness and basically how it all ties back into our fear of sadness and our fear of being alone. He told a story about getting really sad in his car while listening to Bruce Springsteen’s “Jungleland” (best song ever!!) and how his first instinct was to text like 50 people. But instead of doing that, he took contrary action and just let the sadness hit him like a truck and pulled over and bawled his eyes out. He said that afterwards, he actually felt better because it was like there were antibodies of happiness that came along to counter the extreme sadness.

So, I tried it. I sat in the sadness and let it take me over. I cried like a baby on my bed. I let myself feel out of control. And, well, it worked. I’m not saying that it made me feel all better but it certainly helped me get a little bit more comfortable in my own skin that day. And I truly feel blessed that I get to have those sad moments because they make the happy ones that much sweeter.

xoxo,

BF

BF Asks: What was your High-Low this week?

*So what exactly is a High-Low, you ask? High-Low is the BEST & WORST part of your day, week, month, etc. I started this tradition with friends & family after I discovered it through a movie decades ago. Not only is it useful for reflection sake but it is also an excellent way to communicate with your spouse, kids or friends over the dinner table. By introducing this tradition to folks, parents have told me that their kids have opened up more and friends have told me that their spouses have become more communicative. Try it for yourself and let me know what your experience is! 

High-Low 9/9/13: Neighbor-Family & New Scars

It has been faaaaaar too long since I shared a High-Low with you and, well, it’s time. These past few months have been such a wonderful, whimsical whirlwind – filled with travel, friends, family, rich opportunities, closing old chapters and – more importantly  – starting new ones. I have been to Texas and back, Nashville and back (more on that in another post), thought I was moving, found out I didn’t have to move, met new people, said goodbye to friends, hosted events and started becoming more involved in some philanthropic organizations that I care about deeply. But there’s no way, I can share all of the highs with you so we’ll just concentrate on the High-Low from the past week. Hope you enjoy! And I can’t wait to share more with you on a more regular basis, again.

HIGH: Neighbor-Family

After almost having to move out of my beloved home in July, I appreciate my neighbor-family now more than ever. Whether it be morning coffee with Hope across the street, laughing with Jenn as we organize my kitchen, Matty keeping me company with a glass of rosé and conversation while I frost cupcakes on a Saturday afternoon, having dinner at our neighborhood wine bar, Chic, with my old friend Sarah or Nora and Lucy bringing their laughter-filled light into my room as I get ready for a night out on the town, I am overwhelmed by the sense of family these friends give me.

So much so that they are not just friends anymore, they are my sister-neighbors and brother-neighbors…my neighbor family. And I love them to bits! Every morning I get to look out my window and say hello to these beautiful people. And every night, I get to see at least one of them before I turn in. It feels a bit like college and a bit like a small, southern town and it adds up to the warmest community I have ever lived in. I am so grateful for every second I get with them.

High: My Neighbor-Family

 

LOW: A New Scar

I have always wished I was more graceful. When I say this to people, they think I’m being modest, “But you are such a graceful and gracious lady”, I am told. Au contraire, my friends. While I am lucky that it doesn’t happen every day – or even every month – my life has been filled with its share of pratfalls and Three Stooges-style tripping accidents. So I wasn’t surprised at all when I was in a hurry at The Grove last Tuesday and totally bit it as I made my way up the stairs at The Apple store. Ugh. I gashed my knee pretty hideously. First, I was mortified…and then, I thought I might have to get stitches. I had no time for stitches! I had a manicure…and a meeting! Bless my heart.

Sorry for the graphic nature, folks...

Turns out I was okay. More or less. So why was I in such a hurry? Because there are lots of new beginnings on my horizon right now. New, fun, exciting and delicious things that I can’t wait to wake up to every morning. And, at the same time, there are also old chapters being closed. So, when I was asked by a doctor if I wanted plastic surgery, I said, “No, I think I’m gonna let this be a scar.” Scars are excellent reminders for us as humans. In this case, I feel like this scar will remind me that for new things to begin, we often have to get hurt, let ourselves heal and scab over before we can begin anew again. So while this is a low, it’s also an excellent jumping off point into the great unknown. And I am ready for all it has to bring.

 

xoxo,
BF

 

BF Asks: What was your High-Low this week? 

*So what exactly is a High-Low, you ask? High-Low is the BEST & WORST part of your day, week, month, etc. I started this tradition with friends & family after I discovered it through a movie decades ago. Not only is it useful for reflection sake but it is also an excellent way to communicate with your spouse, kids or friends over the dinner table. By introducing this tradition to folks, parents have told me that their kids have opened up more and friends have told me that their spouses have become more communicative. Try it for yourself and let me know what your experience is!

My Pamp Party is happening today at 1pm PDT/4 pm EDT on Pampadour!

The day has arrived! My Pamp Party that I’m hosting happens TODAY at 1-3 PM PDT, 4-6 PM EDT on Pampadour (www.Pampadour.com)!
And did I mention that there’s a FAB GIVEAWAY???!!!

Pampadour Giveway of Antonym Cosmetics Products (over $200 value) - Win it!!!

For every question asked with the hashtag #PampFrosting , Pampadour will donate $3 to one of my favorite charities, Step Up Women’s Network.
Additionally, with every question asked, you’ll be entered to win the Antonym Cosmetics giveaway where you can win over $200 of beauty products & brushes from my favorite new line (which just so happily happens to be vegan and cruelty-free)!
Here’s what you have to do:
1) Register on Pampadour
2) Log in
3) Ask me any beauty question you want! Just be sure to include the hashtag #PampFrosting !
4) You’re automatically entered into the giveaway & you’ve done something good without spending a dime!
Please share with your friends as I’d love to answer as many questions as you can bring and would love to raise money for SUWN!!
Thanks so much for your support!
xoxo,
Dawn

BF Asks: What are your favorite charities to support?